Jeanioz's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Socrates Jones: Pro Philo]

General Tips

If you follow this walkthrough to the letter, you'll miss out on a lot. Much amusement can be found by asking questions I don't tell you to ask and not skipping over anything.

You can fast-forward dialogue by repeatedly clicking the NEXT button.

If you get stuck, question everything. You'll never lose credibility by asking questions.

Not every idea that appears on the Idea Slate will come in handy during a chapter. Don't use it as a checklist.

In the options menu (click the gears), you can turn on the option to highlight questions you've already asked. This is off by default, but it's incredibly useful when you need to keep track of what you've done.

Prologue: One new York Morning...
Opponent: Billy the Salesman

Argument 1: "Buy my product!"

Ask for clarification on the first statement.

Ask for clarification on the third statement.

Press for backing on the third statement.

Argument 2: "Deer are a menace!"

Challenge the fourth statement with "Deer live in the woods".

Argument 3: "Why you still need my product!"

Question the relevance of all of the first three statements. Each one will be removed when you do.

Chapter 1: Through the Looking Glass
Opponent: Euthyphro of Athens

Argument 1: "Good is what is Holy"

Ask for clarification on the fourth statement. New idea!

Challenge the fifth statement with "There are Different Gods".

Argument 2: "On Divine Disagreements"

Press for backing on the fifth statement. A new statement will be added.

Challenge the new sixth statement with "Morality Comes from the Gods".

Chapter 2: An Old Friend Appears
Opponent: Protagoras of Athens

Argument 1: "The Source is the Self"

Ask for clarification on the fourth statement. It will be amended.

Press for backing on the newly amended fourth statement.

Argument 2: "Morality is up to the Individual"

Press for backing on the third statement. New idea!

Challenge the fourth statement with "Speech Penalty".

Argument 3: "All Morals are Subjective"

Question the relevance of the fourth statement.

Chapter 3: The Social Contract
Opponent: Thomas Hobbes

Argument 1: "The Natural State"

Challenge the third statement with "People Work Together".

Argument 2: "The Social Contract"

Ask for clarification on the third statement. It will be amended.

Challenge the newly amended third statement with "Mankind is Selfish".

Argument 3: "Our Obligation to the Contract"

Ask for clarification on the third statement. It will be amended.

Challenge the newly amended third statement with "Contracts Need to be Enforced".

Chapter 4: The Pursuit of Happiness
Opponent: John Stuart Mill

Argument 1: "Morality comes from Happiness"

Ask for clarification on the third statement. New idea!

Challenge the fourth statement with "Happiness Distribution".

Argument 2: "Rules that Promote Happiness"

Press for backing on the fourth statement. New idea!

Challenge the second statement with "Rule Nuances".

Chapter 5: Paved with Good Intentions
Opponent: Immanual Kant

Argument 1: "Intentionalism"

Ask for clarification on the fourth statement.

Argument 2: "The Categorical Imperative"

Press for backing on the second and third statements. You'll get a new idea from each one.

Challenge the fourth statement with "Lying". (You could probably have gotten somewhere with the other idea if Socrates's example was better.)

Argument 3: "The Universality Test"

Ask for clarification on the third statement. Two new statements will be added.

Challenge the new fifth statement with "Intentionalism".

Chapter 6: The End of the Road
Opponent: The Arbiter

Argument 1: "Morality Exists"

Ask for clarification on the first statement. It will be amended.

Press for backing on the newly amended first statement.

Argument 2: "The Answer Will Be Found"

Press for backing on the fourth statement.

Argument 3: "Socrates Found the Answer"

Question the relevance of the third statement. A new statement will be added.

Challenge the new fourth statement with "Mankind is Flawed".

Argument 4: "No Point in Trying"

Press for backing on the second statement. Two new statements will be added.

Ask for clarification on the new fourth statement. It will be amended.

Challenge the newly amended fourth statement with "Good is Happiness".

[Hippolyta]

If you play this game in a really slow computer, the game turns into a endurance game, instead of a reflex game.

[Ray - Part 2]

Guide

Safehouse > Eletrocheech

A) Skip Mini Game (4)
B) Continue > Give In (2)
C) Continue > Continue any amount of times > Give In (1)

Apparently Jose will be on a boat tomorrow night, a boat full of

cops on the other side of town. Since you have alot of time, you

can drive there and get yourself ready. Luckily Cheech's uniform

is a perfect fit, so you'll be able to get on board easier. All

you need to do now is figure out how you're going to kill Jose.

A) Explosives ($1500)
A.A) The Docks
A.B) Dive
B) Knife and Fibre Wire ($250, Dive)
C) MP5 ($5000)
A.A) The Docks
A.B) Dive

Mission One: To Kill a Cop

(If The Docks)

A) Cheech sent me!
A.A) Sandravel (return to Dive)
A.B) Rodriguez (return to Dive)
A.C) Sandoval (1, skip Dive)
A.D) Andreas (return to Dive)
B) Um... I forgot it.. (return to Dive)

(If Dive) It's best to use this little platform to get where you

want, but there's a guy fishing here.

A) Give the fish some brain food of there own (2)
B) Put him to sleep (1)

(If Knife and Fibre Wire) (1)
(If MP5) (1)

Mission Complete

(If Explosives) (3)
(If Knife and Fibre Wire) (2)
(If MP5) (1)

* MP5 path

Mission Two: Columbian Crap

The Dealer wants the money you've brought with you.

A) First I want the drugs, then you get the money (1)
B) Here you go! (fail)
C) It seems like a trap, waste-em. (2)

Now this deal seems really suspicious. He told you to go to the

covered part of the car park, that's most likely where you can

make the deal for the drugs.

Car Park Shootout

A) Skip Mini Game
B) Continue

One Shot, One Kill

A) Skip Mini Game
B) Continue

The deal didn't go down and you need to get the drugs. This guy

might be your only lead.

A) Gun in wound!
A.A) Fuck it. Pop him. (4)
A.B) Ask him where you can find the drugs (1)
B) Blow him away (4)

A Map in the car better located where you could get the drugs.

How do you want to get past the guard?

A) Empty a few shells into him (2)
B) Crack him in the face (1)

You still need to find out where the drugs are. From what you

heard, that guy out back knows where they would be. First you

need to get rid of this guy.

A) Stab the fuck out of him (1)
B) Decapitale him (2)

Then this is it. You don't need him anymore

A) Let him slip out of here (2)
B) Sorry buddy... (1)

Mission Three: Repo Man

It lokks like someone's climbing down the side of the cliff. Your

objective is at the bottom of it. You can either walk around or

find another way to get there.

A) Cut the rope and absail down (2)
B) Absail down
B.A) Strangle him to death (1)
B.B) Blow his brains out (3)
C) Jump off and hope for the best (fail)

That guard over there has a snow mobile you could use to get to

your objective quicker. What do you want to do?

A) Blow his brains out with his own gun (1)
B) Tie the back of his sled to the a tree (3)

To get inside the facility you need and ID scan to open the

security doors.

A) Scan your index finger.
B) Cut the guard's finger off and use it

Downstairs in the lockup. Now what?

A) Shoot him (1)
B) Put him to sleep (2)

Rank 1 - 12: Ray
Rank 13 - 15: A Hitman
Rank 16 - 19: Like Mike
Rank 20 - 25: The 9 - 5 man
Rank 26 - 27: Useless
Rank 28 - 29: A Fucking Gimp

[Ray - Part 1]

Guide

You go down to the local Liquor store to buy some booze. On your way out you encounter a bum who appears to be some kind of war hero...

You -

A) Give him some cash (4)
B) Throw your bottle at his head (1)
C) Share the love! (2)
D) Ignore the parasite. You're too good for him! (3)

Got the booze. On your way back to your car you notice 2 guys standing behind you. They don't look very happy.

You -

A) Nice music you got goin there, I prefer Selwyn through, Isn't he cool? (4)
B) Get the hell out of there! (3)
C) Show them how Mr. 357 works. (1)
c.A) Let him go. He's learnt his lesson.
c.B) Waste him. Make sure he learns it.
D) You don't take that from anyone. (2)

On you way home you drive by a Pizza Parlour. You recognize a guy in the window, its that bastard who's been stalking your girlfriend. Time to teach this guy a lesson.

Choose your weapon to help the stalker understand you don't like him creeping up on your woman.

A) MP5SD Sub Machine Gun (2)
B) SPAS 12 Shotgun (1)
C) SIG 550 Sniper Rifle (4)
c.A) Open Casket
c.B) Closed Casket
D) Combat Knife (3)
D.A) Stealth
D.B) AYYYAHHH!

Interrogation:
This guy knows where Michelle is. You must retrive this information from him. If you push him to hard and he dies, You've failed.

1º Smash him in the face
2º Fist + Face
3º Headache punch!
4º I won't ask again.

Interrogation Sucess

A) Better get going. (4)
B) Waste him (1)
C) Knock him out (2)
D) Piss on him and go (3)

This is the address you got from the Puerto rica. Michelle must be inside somewhere.

You -

A) Walk right up and blast'em (fail)
B) Climb a tree and Pick off the guards with a Rifle

You -

A) Snap his neck (1)
B) Knife him (2)
C) Knock him out (4)
D) Shoot him with the M4 (3)

1º Lunge at him
2º Ask him where Michelle is
3º Go in with the Deset Eagle/Go in with the M4

You -

A) Put a .357 through the roof (3)
B) Brake hard, then accelerate (2)
C) Slow down, he might get hurt! (4)
D) Open the sunroof and throw him under the tire (1)

You have 4 rounds left in the mag of you M4. You should use all 4 on one target. Select your target by moving the mouse over them and clicking. If you don't click one of the them in time, and the helicopter gets too close, you die.

A) Kill the Pilot (1)
B) Kill the Sniper (2)

She's still out cold, the cars trashed so you'll have to carry her back. The Police will probably be here soon, so any transportation that comes by should be taken.

You've beek walking for hours, screw walking the rest of the way. The next thing that comes past will have to do.

You -

A) Put a bullet on him. Take the bike (3)
B) Ask him to get off (4)
C) Beat him with his helmet (2)
D) See if he can walk with a knife in his eye (1)

Rank 8 - 12: Serial Killer
Rank 13 - 20: Pretty Cool Guy
Rank 21 - 26: Faggot
Rank 27 - 30: Fucking Fairy

[EBF5 NPC Maker]

13,3,3,5,3,2,18,5,10,8,33,8

* Name: Jeanioz (yup, alter-ego stuff :/ )

* Story: Served in the army a long time ago. Now a system analyst (what explain the NPC's coffee cup) and flash game player in the spare time. Everything learned back in the army becomed useful to survive in the EBF5 universe.

Hope it inspire something in the actual game! :)

[House]

Awesome game. Reminds me of Lakeview Cabion for some reason.

Medal Guide:

*Murderer:
-Give cat to doll to get shotgun
-Use bear trap to kill rat to have access to the axe
-Get trap, axe and shotgun in the same room (rat's room recommended)
-Reset trap, equip shotgun and wait for daddy
-Make daddy step in the trap, shoot with shotgun, then quickly unequip shotgun and use the axe to kill daddy's head

*Pure
-Turn off the light in the corridor to unset the spike trap (or it will kill your sister)
-Use bear trap to kill rat to have access to the axe
-Use axe to kill the bathroom monster (or it will kill your sister)
-uSe axe to open the door locked with boards
-Inside the room, unequip axe and talk to your sister
-SIster will use the bathroom then sing the flute

*Pure evil
-Use axe, shotgun and/or bear trap to kill your sister, the doll and the cat before daddy comes home
-Daddy won't be hostile

[Cityscape]

Guide:

01. Explorers
02. Surveyors
03. Residential
04. Industrial
05. Interstate
06. Commerce
07. Education
08. Fishing
09. Mining
10. Airport
11. Theme Park
12. Seaport
13. Media
14. Health
15. Religion or Police
16. Police or Religion
17. Army
18. Tourism

[Don't Escape 2]

To get the achievements (you only get achievements after survive or enter the Achievements menu):

* The Survivor - Just survive. See the in-game walkthrough if you have trouble;
* The Governor - Shoot Jeremy and/or Father Bernard after dug the hole in the base. They will be used as meat bait;
* The Merciful - Give the painkillers and then the bottle of alcohol to Bill, then shoot him;
* The Shadow - Don't shoot - use the metal cutter on the hatch, the axe to kill Bill and the shovel to kill the zombie in the shop (the shovel will break);
* The Savior - Recruit Jeremy and Father Bernard and survive with both still alive;
* The Lone Wolf - Don't recruit Jeremy or Father Bernard and don't give the painkillers to Bill - to survive, fix the fence and connect it to the generator with the wires, power the generator with fuel, brick up the window, kill Bill with the axe to not make noise and get all four bullets for the gun (one in the hole in the wall outside the base, one outside the church, one outside the gas station and one inside the gas station near the chair).

Fuel glitch - get the fuel and use it in the car, then quit the game and then continue the game, and the fuel will appear in the inventory again. Use this glitch to get the car AND the generator on.

scriptwelder responds:

Ouch, thanks for pointing out that glitch! :D

[Brawlin' Sailor]

At least he got a new puppy friend. :)

[Glitch Lab]

For those without a smartphone, the QR code in the ending means "You Sir, are fucking awesome.".